


Dear Journal

by Rosey_Note



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosey_Note/pseuds/Rosey_Note
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone able to have a casual conversation with Belarus. Probably doesn't time exist .Take a look into her head to see what's really going on in there.</p><p>Lietbel but not focused. Minor language. Hints of other pairs,  mostly Author's favorite or to give them some where to continue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear New Diary

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on my own personal thoughs about Bellarus.Sorry if you don't agree.

Dear Journal. 

Big Sister wanted me to start writing this so I can "express my feeling in a place that I won't be judged". And so hopefully I can get over what ever feelings I have for big brother. -She probably is trying to keep me distracted by this while she goes after big brother herself.-

Big sister also said I could write down any thing I wanted like the days events and to try to do it daily.

This is so stupid

I am only doing this because Big Sister said that Big brother was the one to buy it. And I don't want to let somthing big brother bought go to waste.

Even so ,they could have chosen a different book. Preferably one that's not pink, with a white lace trim, with a giant sparkly N in the middle of the god damn cover! It's so girly and frilly I'm going to puke my intestine out, if not ill take my eyes out with a knife.

With ALL of my greatest hatred,  
Natalya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lilli is Liechtenstein

Dear Jornal, 

I was invited by Liechtenstein to a trip to shop at the mall. I decided that I might as well make some friends with the other girls.

Lilli was a very kind girl, and while shopping she said she liked how I dressed. 

I'm not positive she was being honest or lying to be fake a stab me in the back later... in the literal and metaphorical since.

We met on the way and also met with big sister. We spent the day trying on outfit after outfit. 

IT WAS HORRIBLE...I think...

I am not sure right now how I feel I like how it feels to have friends to laugh with. Especially when you take into account the things we tried on today. 

During the shopping trip we saw a bunch of small sparkling books that was the same size as whatever I'm writing in now. Big sister also choose this time to ask how it is working for me. 

I naurally responded with " але што Вы вялікі грудзьмі, цікаўны сучку.

So she NAUTURALLY cried. It was a "fantastic" way to end the day.

With MOST of my hatred,  
Natalya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Essentially the Belarusian phrase means butt out you nosy big chested bitch... Bellarus is so nice!
> 
> I personally think that the reason she doesn't have many friends is she doubts a lot of things including herself, so she would get along great with Lilli who is so nice to everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Journal, 

I went to go ask big brother to marry me today. It did not go as I hoped.

Then again it never goes as I hope, but in a different way this time. 

Big brother did not react in a usual way instead of running from me, he glared at me and yelled at me to just leave him alone. That I was his sister he loved me as one and I should accept that. 

Also that if I continued to ask for marriage he would no longer acknowledge me as his sister even.

I'm scared of losing big brother but I love him so much. 

Many questions are floghting in my head. Am I really wrong to care for him like this? Am I willing to let my love stand before are sibling ship? Why did he react like that now? And Finally how much do I really love him? 

Do i really still love him Not as a brother.

I have to think, wish me luck.

With my Hatred,  
Natalya Arlovskaya,  
The country of Belarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading, I think by next chapter I'll cry or I might do bellarus's relations with other counties among other things.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Journal,  
I will forever love big brother but if he will not love my then I will try to accept that. 

Also I have chosen to go on a date? I believe that it is a date anyway.

Me and Alfred are going out to dinner. Something simple because I told him that he was just how I was testing out the whole dating. He has always been so nice to me but I know he will not be for me.

He only really likes Im Yong Soo, who is a good friend of mine. 

He and me would tell stories about stalking our older brothers. Me following Big brother ,and him following the Chinese Representative. 

I will still try though I look up to the American, but due to big brother and his questionable relationship we haven't seen much of each other. This might be a good chance to become better friends with him again.

During the most recent world meeting I tried to speak with the Baltics but 2 of them weren't exactly up for it. 

Latvia was shaking to much to hold a good conversation, and Estonia was working on computer that I really don't care about. Lithuania did talk to me and we continued to talk until Poland ran up and shouted at him.

"Liet, like, tots hurry up the conversation with the little sister of the devil ,kay. "

Toris then profusely appolagized to me. Before running off to find Poland and makes sure he didn't get himself in trouble. I felt happy it was nice talking to him.

I've also tried making other friends in the world.

I have also have meeting with the other girls. Lilli, Elizaveta, and Mei said soon they would invite me to the "Yaoi Club?" I do not know what this means ,but Big sister and Lilli flushes at the word "Yaoi". 

She then offered to take some photos of her Elder brother and Rodrich Edelstein. Many girls sqealed at this ,along with this there were mentions of Hungary convincing Prussia to do her a favor and get ger pictures of somthing called "GerIta".

They said they would explain. I'm not positive I want them to.

I'll leave it at that...

With Hatred,  
Natalya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hints of Ameri believe, Kimchiburger (ameko), I suppose rochu, Edelweiss (Ausswiss), Pruhun, Gerita.
> 
> Mei is Taiwan


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Journal, 

Toris is an idiot.

That's is it end of entry.

With Hatred,  
Nataliya Arlovskaya,   
The country of Belarus.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Journal, 

The day before yesterday was interesting. Yesterday was exhausting. Today made it so worth it. 

Tuesday was the day before yesterday, Me and Alfred went out to dinner and it was lovely. But it wasn't what I wanted, I don't love him.

Before walking away Toris saw us. Alfred being the idiot he is yelled out to him and ran over. When I followed him over they were already in a conversation about the last would meeting. When he saw me he greeted me politely and smiled. His smile seemed to be a bit strained when he started to looked at us. Then after a second he asked if Alfred and I were dating. Al responded with ummm and after second I said No. Toris all most looked relieved. 

After another minute or two he wish us both good night and headed the opposite direction as us . Alfred took me back to my hotel and did the same to me. We promised to keep in touch better.

Yesterday I talked with Lithuania, it was a nice conversation. One of my best in a while. He wasn't scared like some or rude to me talking with him...it makes me really happy.

Then that што ебут POLAND ruined everything much like last time he came up and dragged Toris away from me. Muttering something to do with shopping and shoes.

Speaking of shopping perhaps i should buy a new bow. I've held onto this one because Big brother gave it to me when we're young but over time there is a lot of wear on it and it kind of looks bad. Instead of the one big brother gave me when i was so young, Maybe something blue.

Big Brother seems less stressed maybe it was for the best after all. Perhaps it is better I keep my distance from him. If this is what he wants then I will stay away I will avoid him, and have no communication with him. Big sister assures me that it was not that he didn't want me around and says we should talk about it. I tend to disagree. 

Today was an amazing day though. Me and my friends went out to watch a movie. I'm not sure why, but it made me excited. When we got to the theater and we're buying our tickets. We ran into Toris, Raivis and Eduard going to the same movie. 

As we all walked to the theater and movie me and Toris started small conversation together, during it my face felt rather warm.

Due to Lilli knowing Raivis and Elizaveta knowing Eduard we decided to all sit together when we got in. Originally, I sat in between Elizaveta and Lilli. Before the show started Mei jumped up and insisted that we trade spots. I really didn't care so I simply went with it. 

Then I found out where she was sitting she had sat down Lucille and Toris. The movie started as I sat down and it was really nice by the end of the movie (though a tad scary)I noticed that on the arm rest our hands were touching. During the climax of the movie,acting on a impulse I grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly.

He didn't pull away. He looked at me and gave me a small smile. At the end of the movie we stayed like that till the left. When we exited we all said goodbye to the baltics and walked away. 

Michelle pulled me into a tight hug once a good distance away. All the girls aww'ed at my "cuteness " I knew what they were talking about. So I turned my face away as I flushed pink and at them all to hush. They all laughed and dropped me off at home.

What I really would like to know is why my heart wouldn't stop pounding. 

Nataliya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Belarusian phrase means that fuck.  
> Lucille is monaco and Michelle is Seychelles


	7. Intermission Hungary style.

Dearest Diary,

Today was AWESOME, at least as Gil would say. Today I took the girls to the movies and what happened with Nataliya was so CUTE. She and Toris I mean Honestly, everyone should want them to be together. 

In the begining I saw them chatting a small bit and all that and then i saW HER BLUSH. Since Lilli and Raivis are friend and Eduard does our computer work among other things for the club we had a good excuse to go with them. I even choose a scary movie for us to watch.

I mean, during the movie when I came up with the brilliant to switch seats and sit them next to each other. They even held hands next to each other. Just. GOD.

We teased her a little bit after that. Honestly she was still blushing when we dropped her off at her house. After that I drove home and told Gilbert all about it. 

He did warn me about some shaky parts in that plan like if Toris doesn't feel the same way. Maybe holds some grudges against her. Like when she broke his fingers before. And to that I said No. Just no.

Just looking at the they were so in love and it was so cute.

I swear I will get them together if it kills me!!!

Love,  
Eliza <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do believe Hungary has an obsession with Yaoi. But she does like romance in general.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Journal, 

Today Big Brother came and appolagized to me for what happened. I almost didn't forgive him.

At the beginning of all of this I would have given anything to have him forgive me. And when he appolagized I wasn't sure what to say. 

But I did accept and big sister then joined us for a meal to catch up with each other. 

I don't remember the last time we did something nice like that... as a family.

Also Elizaveta came and asked me to a party she is holding in a few days. Seeing as she is my friend I felt obligated to go. So I told her I would go she said to dress casual. Even after my spat with brother I have worn much of the same thing, or something similar. That being my dress.

I did ask Emma to take me shopping. I really liked what she wears and she seems friendly. I'm not positive that she is entirely comfortable around me. So I'm trying to make better friends with her. 

Even if that is true she accepted and made a plan to meet on Wednesday.

Today I met with Toris. While out we ran into each other. Quite literally. 

To apologize he then offers to buy me lunch. While eating we just chatting about everything. I'm glad we got to talk out side of maybe my family he's the only one to know me and Brother resolve our fight.

After walking out he offers to walk me home. I let him. When we were walking there I said I had fun. Then he said he did too. We should do it again. I found myself agreeing.

When we reached my door he said good night and left. It wasn't till after it was all said and over with that I realized. 

I just went on a date with Toris, and then said I wouldn't mind another one.

Nataliya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Not sorry...
> 
> Are these getting longer spaces in between times I post.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear JOURNAL,

Today Emma took me out. She had a bright smile and was being quite friendly as we shopped. We spent almost 4 hours wandering around. We ended up not only buying an outfit for Eliza's(what she insisted that I call her) party, we walked out with up to 10 new outfits to wear.

Honestly I don't know how she got me to agree to it.

When I got home something strange happened. I got inside and for about half an hour took tags of so they could be washed, when someone knocked on the door.

When I went to answer Toris was there he looked actually nervous. More than usual.

I greeted him saying hello and offered to let him inside. 

I was genuinely surprised by myself, over a year ago I wouldn't have ever even gone to the door. Much less offered to let someone else in. Yet while I was doing it, it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

He did accept and come in. We chatted over a small snack. It was simple polite conversation. Until he asked if I was going to Elizaveta's party. 

I did say yes. Then he said he would also be there. I'm glad I'll see him there. After about 45 minutes his phone rang. 

It. Was. Poland.

He said that he was sorry and then a goodbye to me and while I saying goodbye back he hugged him. 

It was something so simple.  
Yet so filled with emotion.

When he left I stood there for a moment before going back to the kitchen to tidy up. When I went in there sitting on the table was a small purple box, with a small note on it.

 

Hope you like it, I know it's nothing special but I thought you would like it. -Toris. 

 

In it was a ribbon a solid dark blue 1 inch by 18 inch ribbon. There wasn't anything extraordinary about it. Yet I was happy really happy to get it.

The gesture was so kind. It really reminded me of when I was little and refused to believe that the thought was what counted in a gift no matter what Big sister told me.

I pulled the old white cloth out of my hair and gently placed it on the counter. Then tied this one in. 

Later I did put the old ribbon in the box the new one was in and placed it on my shelf in my bedroom. 

Yet now instead of the old bow I've worn for centuries, under my mirror next to my hair brush, sits this this new one from Toris.

From  
Nataliya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus


	10. Intermission Poland style

Dear Diary,

Today Liz told me to back off of Nataliya, that she was trying to be nice, trying to change. I shrugged and walked away.

I know Nataliya. She isn't trying. She just is. Barely knowing what's going on. That's she's being different than usual . She could change back at anytime. I know that. 

Toris says I should give her a chance, and I laugh and mumble that she's a major bitch anyway.

I just don't trust her yet, Toris is my close friend and he's to busy looking out for others to look out for himself. 

I don't want to see him hurt by her again.

Love  
Feliks


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Journal, 

Note to self  
Parties=socialising  
Which isn't my strong point.

A good fact to keep in mind.

When I went to the party it wasn't awful just nerve wracking in a way. There were a lot of countries she had invited. Of course I had seen them all from the world meetings I still for the most part, don't even know them at all

It was strange seeing people together laughing and happy. Of course Eliza had invited everyone in the world, but not everyone showed up.

Me and big sister came together, we didn't talk much in the car there was mostly silence. 

But not a bad one, not the one of being ignored.

When we got there Eliza greeted us warmly and showed us were everything was going on at. It was very relax not many arguments going on. It was strange, almost foreign. 

Yet welcome.

They were different from normal, not as stiff and formal. Some chatting with each other like old friends. Then again, they could be and I just never knew it.

I saw Alfred there about 11 o'clock he looked and acted almost buzzed (I assume alcoholic influence due to Gil getting the balls to bring it out beside Eliza's back). I tried to ignore it and make some conversation. That didn't work out to well. In the end when i tried to come up with an excuse to end the conversation, I asked if he had seen Toris.

He then slightly smirked and pointed saying goodbye laughing. 

I figured I might as well and wondered to that direction. I reached up and without thinking fixed my bow taking extra time to feel the material. I tried to convince myself that I was only going to say thank you.

It's also all I had guts to do. He happened to be talking to the other Baltics and Poland when I came up to him all I could think of to say was

"Ačiū"

"калі ласка"

I afterwards walked away going to go talk to Michelle. We made small talk for the rest of the party and then she invited me to her own slumber party for all the girls. I accepted. It sounded fun enough for the night so in a week I'll be going the that.

A lot of other people came to talk with me, Yong Soo ran a jumped and hugged me. I still flinched at that , but unlike time before I didn't pull away and yell at him. I didn't hug back but I guess he hugged for both of us. I could barely breathe.

I saw that both Lilli and Vash were there. While Vash barely acknowledged me with just a nod of hello. While Lilli came over as soon as she saw me with a big smile. Having a better respect of my personal space than Yong Soo she didn't hug me without permission, and usually I didn't give it. But just for tonight I nodded.

At the end of the party (well there was no official end time, just when everyone started leaving mostly from about half of the guys being drunk and dragged out by there sober partner) "Eliza came up we stood there for a second. She then asked if I ever been to a party.

I thought, even though I knew the answer my already. I said No . She asked how I liked it, I just shrugged at her. Then she said firsts aren't always bad Naty". Then she left after a second more.

I rolled my eyes at the scene, but for the first time I felt accepted by them. 

From  
Nataliya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Diary,

When I went to the sleepover, it felt so stereotypical my head hurt. Badly.

Elizaveta said we should talk about are relationships and complain about out s/o as she put it. I stood up and tried to leave. Needless to say i wasn't allowed too do so.

They pulled me back and we started talking i tried to ignore and withdraw from the entire conversation. 

It started out with Eliza telling us how idiotic Gilbert was. Rambling about how oblivious he was, and how she wishes he would "grow some damn balls and make a fucking move so she know how he feels". 

Unlike me most girls could relate to this with their girlfriends or boyfriends and nodded while agreeing with her while she stayed slumped over and glaring at the floor. Mumbling how she drops plenty of hints and he does nothing.

After a moment of silence, Lilli started talking about how she was trying to get Raivis to talk to her, but he seemed to just ignore her or run off or talk to quietly lately to see her having a real chance with him. She looked upset by that.

I found myself talking and saying "I'm sure it not that it's just that Raivis is really shy. He's talked about you before so really do have a chance ,a good one at that. "

Lilli brightened up at this. Significantly I started wondering if it's stalking to want to see how that goes for them.

Eliza thought that this was the perfect time to embarrass me in front of them all. 

"So what between you and Toris" 

She didn't say it like a normal person she practically sang those word.

My head turned to face her quickly. Staring at her then quickly changing to a glare. Then I just shock my head and sighed. 

"Nothing why do you ask".

All she said was no reason.

After that we watched a movie or 2 and headed to sleep.

The next morning everyone made massive amounts of a dish and everyone ate some of everything. Then we all just sat and talked before deciding to head out to home.

Before I left Lilli took my hand and said another first. All I could do was nod at her. Before Big sister and me drove home.

From,  
Nataliya Arlovskaya  
The country of Belarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for the shipping hints...


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Diary,

Today I went out with Toris again. Nothing important really I think. This time we went to a simple shop instead of a giant mall that my friends took me to. It was a book shop. Toris looked excited to show me.

When I looked it was a simple book, and yet Toris managed to convince me it was really good.

Good enough to waste my time with anyway.

When he was decribing it he just looked so happy and excited that I couldn't help but smile and laugh a bit.

He said I was pretty when i smiled and should try and do more often. Then he flinched thinking back.

Because that wasn't the first time he said it to me the time before that I broke his fingers.

Not the greatest point in our realationship. If i could call it that. I don't throw knives at him (or at most people) anymore really. The more I think about it the more complex it seems.

Well whatever I have a book to read.

With little hate,  
Nataliya Arlovskaya,  
The country of Belarus


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Diary,

I went stalking with Yong Soo.

Mostly for old times sake. 

There was some sort of meeting that both china and Russia were invited too that we weren't so....

He texted me telling me about it in a exited way that I didn't bother to turn him down.

I'm pretty sure Big brother and China knew we were there but have mostly given up in chasing us away. Yong Soo mostly follows china for fun now days. I really do not know why I followed big brother. 

We stalked for an hour before Yong attention span had ran out. We then left Yong offered to buy lunch for me. I couldn't say no.  
We headed to(meaning I was dragged to) a restaurant then we went inside it.

Toris was there with the Baltics, then Yong yelled Hi out to them dragging my hand and then the rest of me and with him. 

I lightly smile at Toris and said hi to the other two who mumbled hello back. Yong Soo jumped up dragging them off suddenly talking about a video game of some sort. Me and Toris stood there awkwardly for a moment.

He said Here let me buy you lunch while we wait for them. He lead me to a table near by. He pulled out the chair for me and was quite nice honestly. 

We chatted and ate and waited for them till about 2 hours later when he offered to drive me home. I accepted and he did. When we got to my house. There was a pause and I felt like I should do something. 

Then I got out of the car and said good night to him and went inside.

From,  
Nataliya Arlovskaya.


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Diary X9,

Japan is wierd.

They say I'm the wierd one of the family at least I don't plot out how to make people interact in hopes they get together. 

I have my doubts Natty is a cool girl when you get to know her and it's wierd he what's to get me in on trying to get her in a realationship with Someone. 

Well those were my thoughts when he approached me about this idea. He offered a to agree that anything I wanted was created by me if I did this correctly. I did agree but I wasn't sure all he told me is what he knew from the cameras he placed around the city.

I know right....

He mic'd me then sent me on my way sending me texts where Lithuania went. Eventually I took her to the same restaurant as him saying it was my treat. 

I then had her run into Toris. I grabbed the other to baltics and we stalked them from the window. To see what would happen they just talked...

Welp Nihon seemed happy. Whateves! 

From your Creator,  
Yong CX

P.S.  
Oh for what I chose take mine.

Shipping ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> South Korea is so much fun to write!


End file.
